Readers, meet my name is Dina, a mother with one child, Rizki. We live on an island in the Riau region. I'm also a career woman in a foreign company and occupied an important position in my office. My husband, Har, working in one of the NGOs, also plays. On this occasion I wanted to share the story and really hope that suggestions from readers. Suggestions or advice that may indicate a bright light to my life.
Readers, I know Har since both in junior high school. But that's just plain know, there's no sweet memories. I know him, he knows me. Enough. We never close, let alone going out. He was a neighbor, also a friend of one class.
After work, I again met with Har, through the intermediary of a friend. Briefly, acquaintances and close. Often the road together, one month later, Har express love. He was immediately asked me to marry. I accept the offer, because I knew he was serious. Six months later, we were officially married.
Readers, the first three months is a very beautiful, beautiful thing in my life. Not for one moment we were apart, alone continues. Understandably, the new bride, we never feel satisfied drank honey. But, after three months, everything changed. I saw my husband as a quiet figure, indifferent, and never told me, complaining, or exchange ideas. I tried to observe and accept her attitude, but I'm actually depressed. Character that makes me feel never existed in his life, not getting attention. There was never any story, I feel like a maid in my own home.
Indeed, he never said a rough or hit me. But, ignored, not considered to exist, it is more painful to me than a punch. He's really cool. I felt alone. All the things I have to decide for itself, do not get any direction or consideration from him.
When not strong anymore, I told him that I was tired, I'm lonely, persecuted, and want to be treated as a wife. But, what my husband said? He was deeply loved, very much. But, he did not know what to think to myself. She felt what she did was fair as far as not to hurt me, no cheating, and economically responsible.
I cried. How do I have to ask for attention, if he had had no idea what to think? He felt it was not a mistake. Imagine! I was just given a lonely-lonely, habitation, which I do not know whether to when.
Year, I got pregnant and gave birth. I thought, with my son, he will change. Maybe, I also no longer lonely. Moreover, my son who was born male, which I believe is very dream of every husband. I believe, he would be more concerned about me, or minamal to my son. In fact, no change. My hope evaporates, so the void alone.
My husband still cool, relaxed as there was no problem, as I and my son thought was never home to be invited as a friend to talk. Crazy! Even if he went out of town, to call or SMS alone, he never did. That was kebangetan, is no longer menusiawi. I'm angry, I rebelled.
But, what did he say? My husband said he wanted to concentrate when working, to be calm and quickly finished and went home. He said, if always remember me and my son, he could not calm down, work was abandoned. Crazy, no?
He also said, that his attitude was really making me miserable. But he admitted could not do anything to change that situation. "Yes I did this this way," he said. What's not to change? He who does not want change!
Har also apologized, that during the marriage I was not a place of her vent. He said he was sure if any vent, I'm not going to help him solve his problem. O Lord, from what my husband's heart? How could he think and speak so?
In fact, I always wanted to be the best for him. I helped it earn a living by working. Stay away kusempatkan cook after coming home office because I know my husband does not like to eat out. Tired anything if he asked for help, will soon do. That's not because I love my husband. I appreciate it, mendewakannya. But, but thanked ...!!
Readers ... I was really lonely. I can not tell it to your friends or to another family because I do not want my husband disapproved of dimaki or disumpahi by people who are upset over nature. After all, he's my husband, my father, leader and head rumahtanggaku. I do not want him looked down upon by my brother. I have to keep hargadirinya and dignity. I can only let go and vent to Allah SWT.
But I'm only human who still need discussion. Help me readers. What should I do? Should I let go through this life? Whether it's destiny that I should live, and accept only the husband is treated as a mute woman who can not do anything, who never invited to speak?
I believe, God will help me through the hands of all readers. Help me, huh? Yes?
